Remember those Memory Foam mattress ads (maybe they’re still on late night television) and how they’d claim they were developed for and approved by “the space agency,” complete with a weird almost, but not quite NASA-y logo? That was because, even though Memory Foam was developed for a NASA mission, you can’t use the NASA name or logo to sell things.
Well, as Gwyneth Paltrow and Body Vibe learned recently, that’s also the case for bullsh*t that NASA did not approve.
NASA issued a statement Friday that they don’t use carbon fiber materials in space suits to monitor — much less heal — astronauts’ vital signs. This was to counter claims made by Body Vibe on Ms. Paltrow’s bloglifestyle site, Goop, that their $5 to $6 body stickers can restore “our internal balance” to an “an ideal energetic frequency.” Well, we don’t have to tell you that this “calming effect” is essential for maintaining energy reserves, strengthening immune systems and alleviating “physical tension and anxiety” — that’s just Science. (And we f*ckin’ love Science.)
So, for now Goop is NASA-free until they verify Body Vibe’s claim. Which should happen any day now, we’re sure …
SeriouslyLadies, The Guys would never presume to tell you what to do with your body. We firmly believe that whatever you choose is between you, your doctor and your book club. But, if we could offer a little advice? Maybe don’t stick jade up your vagina.
A jade egg won’t make you more orgasmic, unless you’re counting newly colonized organisms that caught a lift in the microscopic fissures in its surface. And it won’t make your vaginal contractions stronger — you’ll have to open jars the old-fashioned way.
As for sticking anything inside of us, we always follow our ear doctor’s advice: nothing smaller than our elbows.
Pharmacies are unable to keep up with growing demand for Adderall and Ritalin due to rising prescription numbers (18 million Adderall prescriptions in 2010 alone), DEA restrictions on surplus production of the controlled substance and drug manufacturers’ hesitance to provide generics when their namebrand designers drugs are more expensive.
Members of the child-interacting community are nervous, wondering how they will be able to stimulate undrugged children in the future should this problem continue unabated.