Goose poop attack at Disneyland

Animals are out to ruin your summer. That includes those big summer trip plans you’ve made.

Disneyland became a scene of horror and panic last Friday night when a flock of geese attacked the most iconic attraction at Disneyland, the Sleeping Beauty Castle. According to authorities, the geese pooped on nearly 20 tourists, many of them children. The attack happened just as crowds were gathering for the nightly fireworks show. The cowardly geese could not have picked a better time for their attack.

A hazardous materials team was dispatched to clean up the victims, who are said to be recovering from the trauma, and were given a change of clothes by the park.

Out of the poop, into the poop

POW! Right in the honkers!
POW! Right in the honkers!

If you’ve ever found yourself stranded on the Jefferson Memorial side of the Tidal Basin, where there’s only bike paths and 395 and you don’t have the strength to continue back to the Mall, then you’ve probably noticed all the greenish power bars along the water front.

Do not eat these, for they are goose poop, and besides being gross, they can — in large enough amounts — infect the very air you breathe with histoplasmosis and other diseases.

Fortunately, the U.S. National Park Service has at least one idea for reducing the geese’s three-pound a day constitutional: bringing in border collies to scare them off, Babe in the Capitol City-style.

And the best part of this idea? Dogs don’t poop.