Another case of government pork

Sometimes, the United Kingdom is one of our closest allies. In nearly every war we’ve fought since double ya double ya ah, we’ve been joined at the hip heading into battle (except for World War II, where we decided to sit the first couple years out).

But now, there’s a rift that could threaten to undo the great alliance between the limeys and the Greatest Nation on Earth. You may have heard about the whole dissolution of Parliament and Prime Minister Gordon Brown stepping down thing, but did you know that they hold elections there, too?

That’s a good thing, America likes democracy, but we don’t let our animals vote. England cannot say the same thing. An English woman said her pig, or as they call them over there, “pig,” received a voter registration letter for the upcoming general election. How can we possibly be allies with a country that let’s mankind’s greatest foe vote in its own elections?

I’m pretty sure that’s what the War of 1812 was about.

What’s the policy on presidential regifting?

You ever have one of those friends you hate during gift-giving holidays? You know, the one that goes overboard finding the most elaborate, fitting gift that you could never top?

Obama does.

The President bought what many would consider an adequate gift for visiting Prime Minister Gordon Brown: a uniquely commissioned collection of 25 great American movies on DVD. Nice.

Brown brought:

  • “a pen holder fashioned from the oak timber of HMS Gannet, a Navy vessel that served on anti-slavery missions off Africa.”
  • “a framed commissioning paper for the HMS Resolute, a Royal Navy ship that came to symbolize British-American goodwill when it was rescued by the U.S. from icebergs and given to Queen Victoria,” sister ship of the HMS Gannet.
  • “a first edition of Martin Gilbert’s seven-volume biography of Winston Churchill, whose World War II partnership with President Franklin Roosevelt symbolized the U.S.-Anglo alliance.”

Jeez. That’s a creepy, yet heartwarming, mixtape-and-a-half there: “In honor of visiting the first black President of the United States, here’s a reminder about slavery … which my country opposed … eventually, but slightly before yours.” Also: “Did you know that spiders mate for life (more or less)?”

Now that President Obama has a better idea of what kind of crazy elaborate presents to expect from Brown, maybe he’ll throw in a bag of his favorite flavor of popcorn.*

*A.K.A. the classic “Movie Night In A Box,” the cheapest ploy for sex on your couch.