Administration still hopes to kill bin Laden

It’s a countdown to January 20th for Osama bin Laden, the bearded mastermind behind such tapes as:

  • “Die, you yankee infidel scum!”
  • “You are all fat and I hope you die, Americans!”
  • “Hey, is anyone still hunting for me? Well … you’ll never catch me because I’m like the wind, baby!”
  • “America, you suck.”

He is apparently still alive and living in seclusion from his posse, al Qaeda. After eight solid years of carpetbombing by U.S. armed forces, they finally voted him out of the terrorist organization.

The CIA believes he’s out there, somewhere in the vincinity of the Pakistan-Afghanistan border, still carrying his extinguished tiki torch and waiting for that lucrative sitcom or book deal.

Some intelligence experts believe that the CIA is in a race against time, trying to kill bin Laden before President Bush leaves office. Unfortunately, those experts also forget that CIA operatives are salaried government employees who can’t get fired even if you really want them to.