Today’s green tip

Cooking: most of us fear it, but find it necessary. (You can only eat raw steak with an uncooked potato so many times.) But the thing about cooking is that it is just not eco-friendly. Sure, it may make things taste good, and save you money you could be spending on driving to a restaurant, eating there, and driving back, leaving a cloud of greehouse gasses in your wake, but it’s not green enough.

You see, ovens, microwaves and stoves use energy, and that energy comes from a power or natural gas processing plant, which means you are killing the environment with your selfish need to eat things several times a day.

Luckily, one man found a solution: a solar-heated oven. All you need is some cardboard, some aluminum foil and an acrylic cover. It can bake stuff, you just have to wait a while and have no idea what the temperature inside the oven is or how long its been cooking. Let’s totally throw out the window the fact that cardboard burns. This is a great idea that could help developing countries keep from starvation, or collecting firewood. We can save trees by giving them these ovens.

Wait, isn’t cardboard made from trees, too?

You Missed It: Aw nuts edition

One again, we find ourselves at the end of the work week. For those of you who missed us last Friday (and we know you didn’t), fear not, we have returned once more. If you were too busy watching your mortgage company go under this week, odds are you missed it.

The ‘G’ stands for ‘green’
Leaders met in Japan this week for the Group of Eight summit in order to talk about important things that only the really, really important nations care about. One of the biggest decisions to come out of the summit was the agreement to cut greenhouse gas emissions in half by 2050. After the leaders agreed, they all had a big laugh and swirled the ice cubes in their scotch.

You’re out
Yankee All-Star Alex Rodriguez’s wife filed for divorce this week. Something about how he has been caught cheating on her numerous times while she has been taking care of the kids. Happy to hear the announcement are ladies across the country and teammate Derek Jeter.

Don’t sugar coat it, Reverend
Rev. Jesse Jackson apologized this week for remarks he made about Sen. Barack Obama that were recorded accidentally into an open microphone after an interview. Jackson said, “See, Barack’s been talking down to black people … I want to cut his nuts off.” An extra Secret Service agent has been posted to guard Obama’s crotch around the clock.

High school has changed so much since I was there
A new study shows that for the first time since 1991, U.S. teen pregnancy rates are rising. No one seems to have a clear reason for the sudden increase, but point to high-profile teen pregnancies this that of Jamie Lynn Spears, 17, and the girls of Gloucester High School as possible influences. We here at SG have no idea what or who could be responsible for it.