Doctors at an undisclosed San Francisco hospital are evaluating the mental abilities of a man who survived jumping into the grizzly bear pen at the city’s Zoo.
Police described the 21-year-old man as a transient, a recluse with a record of warning people that they were getting too close, presumably by standing on his rear feet. And when he jumped into the grizzly display, the bears merely approached him and sniffed him, almost as if he were one of their own!
It’s clear what’s going on. Science may have discovered the first bear whisperer in recent history. The question is, whose side is he on?
We hope the doctors in San Francisco can find out for certain.
We have finally figured out how to eliminate those annoying dolphins as a species (aside from humiliating them to death for tourist shows). SeaWorld, the world’s largest chain for aquatic gulags, has managed to kill a dolphin as part of its show.
Sharky the dolphin was performing some sort of aerial stunt when it hit another dolphin in a mid-air collision. Now THAT’s entertainment! In the War on Animals, it is always great to see people showing initiative and eliminating the great dolphin threat.
Sadly, we lost one of our boys on the West Coast recently. An animal trainer in California paid the ultimate price in this crazy, mixed-up war, when a “friendly” grizzly bear he was wrestling with bit him on the neck. We proudly salute our fallen comrade. May he go where the bears and their hunts for picanic baskets cannot reach him.
Finally, many of our readers have been clamoring for mention of the shark attack in San Diego last week. There, we said it.