Hey, NRA, at your next meeting, you might want to think about putting out some conditional rules of for new gun owners. Such as:
- If you’re inebriated and dealing with guns, you probably shouldn’t have the gun.
- If you’ve decided to play a solo game of Russian Roulette, you probably shouldn’t have the gun.
- If you’re going to the bathroom, and you have to remove the gun from your body in order to use the facilities, then you probably shouldn’t have had the gun in the first place.
Because if you’re not careful, you might end up shooting yourself.
And to round out the week of alarming, destructive teenager behavior, here’s a new fad recently uncovered by hip reporters and an even hipper pediatric urologist: “sack tapping.”
Yes, sack tapping or–in places where they call soda “pop”–ball tapping: the testosterone-reducing game of slapping and flicking the testicles of others.
Urologists are noticing more and more ruptured and outright crushed testicles bouncing lifelessly into their exam rooms. They’re now trying to educate young men, warning them that the injuries sustained during the game often result in amputation and even Hitler.
So, as the article asks, “Why [the f#@king s&$t] would boys do that to each other?” Funny you should ask, because University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research might have the answer.