Tag: GTA

Next fad: police vs. samurai

Some people don’t like cops, that is a given fact. Normal folks take their violent fantasies of debauchery and vile behavior to Grand Theft Auto style video games, however, one man decided to take his anger out another way. Recently, a young man attacked a police officer with a Japanese samurai sword in central Tokyo in broad daylight. He managed to slice off the left thumb of the officer before he was subdued by other officers. As of now, there is no motive of his actions, he either just wanted to try out his newly purchased sword or he was just a psycho. Whichever the case, he was arrested for attempted murder and possession of, well, you know … a samurai sword. Which is apparently a crime.

The attacker is in his mid-twenties and it seems he isn’t connected to any political organizations. What we do know is the sword had a blade about 70 centimeters long, which is more than enough length to bring ultimate doom to coppers.

Kids, avoid sharp objects, don’t use drugs, stay in school, eat your vegetables and only use the power of a samurai sword for good.

World record broken, still lame

What did you do between September 4 and September 6? Twenty-six year-old private equity broker Chirantan Patnaik played Grand Theft Auto IV—for 40 hours and 20 minutes straight. We’ll guess that’s he not that much of a socialite.

The man from Mumbai started playing at his home on September 4 at 10:00 a.m. and wrapped up on September 6 at 2:00 a.m., taking only four breaks. His marathon play session was observed by observers and has earned its place in the Guinness Book, surpassing the previous record of playing GTA IV for 28 hours and 1 minute.

“There are so many other games which I have played for long hours,” says Patnaik. But I had never tried playing this particular game seriously. However, I knew that I can do it after I saw my brother playing it … I enjoyed the game very much. It’s fun playing long hours. It wasn’t that exhaustive for me, as one might feel.”

To train for the event, he exercised, ran and did yoga, and while playing, he guzzled coffee and munched on dates. Next up, Patnaik plans to play for more 48 hours straight.

You know, I hate to play up a stereotype (actually, that’s a lie, as I don’t hate doing so in the very least), but somehow, I have questions as to whether he really exercised beforehand. Don’t believe me? Reference that quote again.

Schadenfreude: Sometimes it does taste like justice

Alright, it’s Friday. You think you don’t need a strong pick-me-up to start your favorite weekday. But is it 5 o’clock yet?

Yeah, didn’t think so. You still have to finish up the week’s drudgery while the kids off from school are already “warming up” the pool. (Don’t open your eyes underwater.) And you still need to fudge your time card before you sit in traffic with all of the other TGI-mother-Fers.

What you need is a steamy cup of all-natural Schadenfreude.

Jack Thompson, who you should be familiar with if you’ve ever read this blog or listened to a parent about video games, is in danger of being “found guilty on 27 of 31 counts of misconduct” by the Florida Supreme Court.

That’s right: Mr. Listen-to-me-because-I’m-a-lawyer may be demoted to crazy-angry-guy-on-talk-shows. He won’t be able to legally exploit the families of slain police officers because he can’t figure out the squares and circles on a Playstation controller.

Mm, Schadenfreude: make it every morning’s shameful joy.

Stealing games is a two star offense

Don't trust him. His smile and the butterflies belie the theft he's going to do.Not one game out there thrives on controversy more than the ones in the Grand Theft Auto series. Known for ridiculous violence involving jet packs, porn stars former porn stars taking a turn at voice acting, pixelated (literally) sex achieved through hacking peripherals and plenty of racial slurs, no one involves controversy more than these games. So what happens when a game that’s based on making perfectly immoral (but fun) decisions is the target of crime in real life?

Irony.

Grand Theft Auto IV, the latest in the series, comes out this week came out today; however, according to Ars Technica, a “surprising amount of copies are not making their way to the individuals that ordered them.” Yes, not even 24 hours before GTA IV hits the streets crime is already on the rise in the form of a few UPS employees helping themselves to your pre-ordered murder simulator of choice. Slow news day? Yes. Hearsay? Oh yes. Ars Technica even says that this is simply “a novel situation” and later tells Kotaku that “In one 24-hour period, three workers were fired, and more interviews were scheduled for today that would likely end in termination.” Isolated incident? Almost totally.

So, what have we learned? Don’t go with UPS. Spend the extra 2 dollars to get it sent via Fed-Ex. There’s usually less incompetency as a whole that way.