Tag: Guantanamo Bay

SG Translates: Dick Cheney’s May 21 speech

Politics is a lot like Armaic literature: with a little bit of effort, you can read whatever message you want from it. It’s times like these that we help cull the bull from the puckey to translate for our often misunderstood policy makers.

Today, we’re reading, former Vice-President and reigning American Boogeyman, Dick Cheney’s speech on Thursday in response to Obama’s about torture, Guantanamo Bay and 9/11.

(C’mon, you’d think he’d leave that out? Not reliving 9/11 is like Bon Jovi not playing “Livin’ on a Prayer!”)

[Skipping the introductions and cutting right to the meat … ] Continue reading SG Translates: Dick Cheney’s May 21 speech

Montana town wants already-softened Gitmo detainees

The city of Hardin, Montana wants to host the 240 Guantanamo detainees when President Barack Obama closes Camp X-Ray. It’s not that they have a hard-on for bearded terrorist suspects; they have an empty $27 million jail and construction debts to pay off.

Unfortunately, the rest of the state says, “No. Not yours. Do not want.” (Montana typically elects cats to public office since there are only twelve human residents.)

So, are they being denied because the detainees would “exceed the capacity of the U.S. District Court in Billings, which would have jurisdiction over their cases,” as stated by U.S. Senator Max Baucus?

It’s an interesting theory, but probably because they don’t want the Federal Government to officially deny Hardin, calling the remote Montana city “cruel and unusual punishment — and we’re talking about terrorist ####bags here.”

Video games will kill you

Iowa State University would have you believe that video games aren’t safe.

Iowa State University would like to it known that video games are causing aggressive behavior in children regardless of their cultural surroundings, which is totally not a case of kids being kids.

Iowa State University would like you to think that a new study from their merry halls shows several parallels to a recent Japanese study.

Iowa State University isn’t telling you the whole truth.

Video games will kill you. Video games are nothing but a tool of Al Qaeda. You want proof?

One detainee is said to have been schooled in making detonators out of Sega game cartridges.

That’s some old school destruction, and I’m not talking about the kind found in Gunstar Heroes. Whoever gets the job tonight won’t have to deal with just the fallout of the War in Iraq, Guantanamo Bay and the crash of Wall Street, but also the destructive capabilities of old copies of Mutant League Football.