You can set a world record, but you’re still the lamest kid in school

Danny Johnson, Wednesday, set a new world record in Guitar Hero III, toppling the previous record set last August in Minnesota.

This is what counts for news these days.

Seth Schiesel reports that Johnson recorded a score of 973,954 in a roughly seven-minute rendition of DragonForce’s Through the Fire and Flames at a Best Buy in Midtown Manhattan. Preparing for the record-setting run, Johnson went through about 80 Guitar Hero controllers, destroying them over the last nine months in practice sessions.

80 Guitar Hero controllers? That’s a lot money, even if you got them used.

Okay, let me revise the title: You can set a world record, but you’re still the lamest (though a member of possibly the most loaded family) kid in school. Word.

Axl Rose doesn’t like corporations, uses big word

Axl Rose is awesome and can do anything and say anything he wants.

That is what I would say if I thought “Chinese Democracy” was actually worth your money. Personal preferences aside, it doesn’t really matter what I think, because ol’ Axl’s got something to say–and he’s going to say it. During what can only be called an epic rant on a forum, the Guns N’ Roses front man went to town on Activision, the video game conglomerate company responsible for the Guitar Hero series, accusing them of … well, something. To be honest, the rant is rather weird and discombobulated, but you can gather what you will:

It doesn’t bother me unless it’s being done at my expense and or to keep [Slash] associated as in Guitar Hero. Him being Guitar Hero’s fine but not when Activison in using Jungle, having Yahoo use Sweet Child unauthorized, claims no involvement with Slash, his or anyone’s image or VR or anyone or anyone’s music in either camp in promotion or commercials etc. I wasn’t broadsided. I read about it as it moved along but Activision continually denied it right up to the release. That’s some low life chicanery on all their parts.

Pause. Yes, Axl Rose just used the word “chicanery.” It appears that Word-Of-The-Day-Page-A-Day Calendar has finally paid off. Huzzah!

Yes Slash was in Guns and on Jungle (and the whole I came to him for his riff is as much crap as him saying he brought Locomotive and Coma in as complete songs) and he has rights to perform it but not to be represented in this context in association with Guns. And since they weren’t granted the license it’ll take some sorting.

The rant is all kinds of random, but Rose is obviously perturbed with Activision using the band’s name of Guns N’ Roses. Also, somewhere in there is a legal threat or two. Somehow.

Plus, it almost sounds as if he may be mad at Activision trying to be the new BFF of Slash. Maybe.

Los americanos no lo tienen fácil.

We all like booze. It makes the world go round. It goes yum-yum in my tummy. It even has hilarious ads (for reference purposes, see Patton Oswald’s rant regarding Dewars). Of course, there are times when sometimes, the ads are just offensive. This is not one of those times.

Swedish vodka maker Absolut has come up with a new ad depicting a “what if?” scenario involving what the United States of America had the U.S. lost the Mexican-American War of 1848. Apparently, this is ruffling a few feathers. Who would’ve guessed? I certainly wouldn’t have. In leaps of logics similar to people decrying Guitar Hero 3 for facing against the devil, some American citizens, even a forum of news channel, are calling for boycotts of the brand. Apparently, ads are funny until they’re not pro-United States. And even if those ads are in other countries, we should still have a say in them. How dare they!

Calm down and stop getting so worked up over this, people. It’s just an ad. Absolut was simply targeting the appeal to a specific country. That’s it. No harm, no foul. Besides, what else kind of vodka are you actually going to drink? Aristocrat? Smirnoff? The bathtub gin special?

(Courtesy of Adrienne S.)