Violence and sex link finally discovered

Hard-line conservatives traditionalists take note: you’ve now been justified. Except, sortamaybekindanotreally.

As we’ve stated before, everyone loves sex toys. Where can you get sex toys? At adult stores, but more importantly, if you live in Huntsville, Alabama, you can get them at Pleasures, right Rick Snee? Right! But, what if you’re a poor yet horny (porny? hoor?) person living in that town, but all you own is a firing device? Then brother/sister, hold onto those yearnings for just 5 more days-Pleasures is here for you.

That’s right, on Valentine’s Day, bring your firing device (the metal one) to Pleasures’ Huntsville location (as in the first ever drive-thru adult store) and they’ll give you an adult toy, no ifs, ands or buts. Not that a lack of buts should deter you. It’s like guns for toys, but these transformers go up your butt.

Sherri Williams, owner of Pleasures, said the “Guns for Toys” event is her contribution to making love, not war in Alabama where guns are legal and adult toys are not. Customers can bring in a gun in any condition to trade for an adult toy. Williams says all guns that were used in a crime will be handed over to authorities while all others will be placed in an auction for sale on the store’s website. A portion of the proceeds will benefit victims of violent crimes through the ACVCC.

See? They are connected, but in a good way. Unless February 14 has a full moon this year, in which case, the Composite Bryan McBournie/Rick Snee Monster will arise and the combination of the devices will only end in tears.