Tag: gunshot

You get one free maiming like your driving test, right?

Speaking of women getting shot in the legs, another one took a bullet at — of all places — a gun safety course in Virginia. The instructor told police that he had just left the room when he heard a gunshot. One of the students had shot his wife in the leg, but made it look more like an accident by sending the bullet through his own leg first.

It appears that gun owners are taking the open War on Women a little too seriously. If only women would learn that we’re like mama bears, and you don’t get between us and our ammo cubs.

You know they can’t try a corpse, right?

George Zinkhan, a business professor at the University of Georgia, was found dead from, according to authorities, a self-inflicted gunshot to the head. He committed suicide after killing his wife and two of her theater buddies.

Wait, that’s not very funny. If you’re laughing already, you’re not reading this right and might be sick. (Not that we’d judge you.)

The funny part was that Zinkhan dug his own grave first, covered it with brush and branches and then shot himself. Why? So it would be more difficult for police to find his body.

If you’re planning to kill yourself, here’s some handy advice:

  1. If you’re killing yourself, does it really matter if you’re found? This isn’t the Middle Ages. Nobody’s going to put your corpse on trial, have somebody sit behind you and do your voice and execute your body once found guilty (true story).
  2. Always use the buddy system. If you must hide your body, have a buddy cover your grave with dirt or cement … really, anything that will prevent Corey Feldman from poking you with a stick.