Tagged: gymnasts

| Filed under Ask Dr. Snee

Ask Dr. Snee: The Olympic ideal of health

Oh, hello, online patients. I hope you didn’t eat all of the copies of Highlights in the waiting room since the last edition of Ask Dr. Snee. I’m taking a break from watching the Olympics — and totally not hiding from malpractice suits (whaaaat.) — in Rio, so I figured that I’d answer some of the letters my attorney forwarded me.


What is cupping, why is Michael Phelps doing it, and why won’t my doctor recommend it?
— In Pain in Pawtucket

U.S. Olympic swimming Gold Medalist, Michael Phelps, bears the unmistakable marks of losing a fight with the Kylie Jenner challenge.
U.S. Olympic swimming Gold Medalist, Michael Phelps, bears the unmistakable marks of losing a fight with the Kylie Jenner challenge.

“Cupping” is the ancient Egyptian word for “keeping your massage parlor ahead of the competition.” Basically, you take the existing massage treatment — rubbing you until you’re either too embarrassed or ejaculate your problems away — and then multiply it by 72, the mystical number of virgins awaiting hucksters in heaven.  Continue reading

| Filed under The McBournie Minute

The McBournie Minute: Olympic creepiness

As we have been covering recently, the Olympics have begun and the world has come together to compete on the field of sports. Nations have gathered to cheer on their athletes in the interest of seeing their country do the best, and watching underage people in tight clothing.

I know that it may come as a shock to some people, but a lot of the atheletes in the Olympics are only teenagers. If you can’t tell, just wait until they are interviewed and count the number of times you hear the word “like.” Many of these youngsters are in gymnastics, a few are even in diving events. The U.K. has a kid on its team, in which event I cannot remember, and he is 13. Yes, he looks like Harry Potter. Continue reading