As the U.S. begins to lift the ban on women in small combat units, Germany has proposed another solution: man-made Amazons. One battalion, the Wachbattalion, has suddenly had more boys asking it to dance now that all the men are growing left breasts. Not pecs, mind you: full-on titties.
Doctors believe it comes from repeatedly smacking their rifles against the left side of their chest during precision drilling. Pounding on that same spot has caused a condition called gynecomastia, in which the male body is stimulated into producing the hormones that grow moobs. Over 70 percent of the battalion has been affected, while the other 30 percent have written letters to god in their diaries, wondering when it will be their turn to blossom.
But, don’t worry: the German military takes this very seriously:
Military officials have promised to keep an eye on the men’s breasts. ‘The affected soldiers are being medically supervised and treated individually,’ an army spokesman told the Herald.
Who wants to bet it involves a lot of massages and shirts-vs-skins basketball?
[Special thanks to Patrick H. for the link! That’s two in two days.]