No, this is not hyperbole (at least, we can assume Sageworks feels that way). According to early research, it seems that the more haircuts that take place, the stronger the economy grows. When people take time off from cutting their follicles, the economy tends to plummet.
As we all know, hippies are the long-haired arch-nemesis of the haircut (and myself. And Bryan McBournie). We now have conclusive proof of the damage that they bring. Don’t be a hippie. Support your nation and get your ears lowered. You wouldn’t want to be unpatriotic, right Ryan (I say to my younger brother)?