The National Football League has agreed to continue their long-standing policy of helping Puppy Bowl draw more viewers. That announcement was part of an NFL press release in which they confirmed that Madonna will perform a Cirque du Soleil Super Bowl halftime show.
In past years, the NFL has attempted to send viewers fleeing to images of puppies slobbering over a tiny football by booking
▪ A born-again Prince who doesn’t sing about sex anymore
▪ Paul McCartney, post-Beatles
▪ U2, who refuse to feed Bono to starving Africans
▪ Janet Jackson’s metal nipple doily
If this doesn’t work, the NFL plans to run YouTube videos of people vomiting accompanied by the dulcet tones of a stadium full of vuvuzelas in 2013.