Look, we’re sure you’re having a nice, run-of-the-mill morning, so we feel the need to warn you before just launching into this story. The last thing we want is to be responsible for countless asthma and heart attacks — and possibly some emergency pants-changes — around the world.
So, let’s take a deep breath … hold it … OK, and release.
One more time: deeeeeeeep breath … hold it … think of a warm spring meadow … and release.
Are you in your happy place? Good.
MONKEYS HAVE LEARNED TO CONTROL ROBOTS WITH THEIR MINDS! THE END IS NIGH! REPENT! REEEEEEEEEPEEEEEEEEEEEENT!