Booze your way to a healthy heart

We already know that alcohol is good for us, but scientists aren’t convinced yet. Science loves studying booze, primarily because it gives them something to talk about at the bar (“Hey baby, did you know that the damage to your liver isn’t as bad as we thought it was?”), and it’s more fun than curing diseases.

Now, a study at Harvard University, lead by Dr. Kenneth Noisewater Mukamal will see if drinking once a day (by which they mean one drink a day) helps prevent heart disease. Subjects will be given Crystal Light lemonade with grain alcohol, which I had last night, while others will just get the lemonade. First one to heart disease wins.