Tag: head

Even Americans’ brains getting fatter

University of Tennessee biological anthropologist Richard Jantz says you’re a fathead. Well, not really. But it’s definitely fatter than those of your ancestors.

After measuring the skulls of white Americans born between 1825 and 1985, Jantz found that their heads are at least 8 millimeters larger. Taking the entire circumference into account, that amounts to a tennis ball-sized extra helping of brain.

But, let’s not go crazy here, white supremacists. This isn’t to say that other races‘ heads aren’t growing, too, just that white people are typically the only ones who let scientists touch them after that whole Tuskegee experiment thing. This also explains how bigger brains don’t necessarily translate to higher intelligence.

You know they can’t try a corpse, right?

George Zinkhan, a business professor at the University of Georgia, was found dead from, according to authorities, a self-inflicted gunshot to the head. He committed suicide after killing his wife and two of her theater buddies.

Wait, that’s not very funny. If you’re laughing already, you’re not reading this right and might be sick. (Not that we’d judge you.)

The funny part was that Zinkhan dug his own grave first, covered it with brush and branches and then shot himself. Why? So it would be more difficult for police to find his body.

If you’re planning to kill yourself, here’s some handy advice:

  1. If you’re killing yourself, does it really matter if you’re found? This isn’t the Middle Ages. Nobody’s going to put your corpse on trial, have somebody sit behind you and do your voice and execute your body once found guilty (true story).
  2. Always use the buddy system. If you must hide your body, have a buddy cover your grave with dirt or cement … really, anything that will prevent Corey Feldman from poking you with a stick.