Buy a potzer a pizza, or listen to this crap all weekend

If you’ve ever wondered where the dubious claims of your local pothead come from, here you go: “Marijuana Slims? Why Pot Smokers Are Less Obese.”

In Time‘s and author Maia Szalavitz’s defense, they’re not saying that pot makes you skinny. In fact, Szalavitz goes to great lengths to explain why (a) that is definitely not the case and (b) the fact the respondents are slimmer than their non-toking fellow surveyees makes almost no sense.

Still, expect to hear these claims all the same. And probably from a stoner chick with a pot belly (all of them).