Get it right here, folks: the spokesman for the Heart Attack Grill, a large obese man, has died. Truly it’s news of the obvious.
Except he died from pneumonia. Shocking revelations! Blair River, the 575-pound spokesman for the Heart Attack Grill, an Arizona restaurant famous for menu items like “quadruple bypass burgers” and “flatliner lard fries,” died at the age of 29 following a bout of the flu.
River was well-known in the community, both for his winning personality and large size. He came down with the flu and succumbed to pneumonia after four days in the hospital. Jon Basso, owner of the restaurant and friend of River, said he thought River’s obesity contributed to his death. Basso is not a doctor, but he plays one at the restaurant. However, Keith Ayoob, director of the nutrition clinic at Albert Einstein College of Medicine, agreed that was likely:
“Obesity increases your risk for just about every condition, and it can make nearly every acute health problem worse.”
We’d wish a long life to the new spokesman for the Heart Attack Grill, but, well … you know.