Pardon me, is that your walking stick?

Were you planning on that vacation to the Swiss Alps this summer so you could go hiking in the nude? A lot of people were. Sadly, there are going to be a lot of disappointed naked people, because Switzerland has declared a ban on nude hiking.

Yes, local Swiss people voted for a ban of nude hiking in their area because a lot of, you guessed it, Germans have been trekking through the area wearing nothing but the pack on their backs. Violators will be fined the equivalent of $176.

So there! Let it be known that if you want to hike naked, you will be punished with more than just sore feet and bug bites in places you had not thought about in a while.

Wouldn’t the summer be a better time?

Switzerland. It’s home for many things: cheese, chocolate, bank accounts to mercenaries all over the world, and now, naked hiking.

Yes, hiking in the Swiss canton of Appenzell-Innerrhoden in the buff has apparently become all the rage, and like all rages, the local constabulary aim to put an end to it. NOW. Individuals that take nude constitutionals better carry a little green on them, as police are now facing on the spot fines if caught*.

This blogger just raises one small question: wouldn’t it be more preferable to hike naked in Switzerland during the spring or summer?

*This is different from a bribe, as it usually costs more. Smart hikers are advised to carry enough cash for both on them, just in case.

You’re doing it wrong

A bunch of people who are no good at sex are claiming their replacement habits are better than “it.” Among the activities listed in the CNN article are:

  • Wearing sexy shoes
  • Hiking
  • Mountain climbing
  • Looking at a baby’s smile (pervert)
  • Receiving money or praise
  • Shopping
  • Public speaking
  • Fine dining

OK, so even if we’re gonna admit these things are really, really nice, there’s still one question: what if you’re having sex while doing all that stuff?

Porn has taught us one thing: it can’t be better than sex if you could improve it with sex. (Take that, skydiving!) (OR, take that skydiving.)