The Boston Red Sox of Massachusetts have been pretty much the only baseball team that has supported us in the War on Animals (unlike those chicken-loving Padres). Once again the Sox have stood together in the fight.
Pitcher Tim Wakefield’s wife was recently bitten by a dog near their home in Hingham, Massaschusetts. They could have gone the “oh well, these things happen” route, but the Wakefields chose to fight back. They threw a knuckleball when they decided to go to the town’s selectboard (that’s Massachusettsian for “city council”) and had leaders sentence the dog to death.
In traditional fashion, the dog will be revealed as a witch, humiliated in front of the townspeople, and hanged at the Hingham gallows.
(via Deadspin)