1-900-Mix-A-Lot no longer in service

Sir Mix-A-Lot hasn’t had a hit more than 20 years, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t still have it. And by “it” we mean the attention of a lot of people who want to be famous.

Jonathan Nichols, 33, found this out a few months ago when he got a new cell phone number. In no time at all, he was getting lewd pictures from ladies, samples from budding artists, and invitations to party backstage at concerts. As it turns out, Verizon Wireless gave him Sir Mix-A-Lot’s old number, and apparently he hadn’t told everyone he was changing numbers.

Sir Mix’s advice is, and this is true, “Don’t check any text messages in front of your wife.” Well said.

Competition and juice

It would seem that Snoop Dogg is mulling about the idea of having his own American Idol competition for rap. Which is a nice idea. I mean, if there can be five million different (sort of) versions of American Idol floating out on television, not to mention a country music version, then why not one for the hippity and the hoppities?

Except that’s not really the big news that people should care about.

No, the big news may have simply been a throwaway idea. Snoop would also like to open up a supermarket chain and call them “Snoopermarkets.” I don’t know about you, but I would drop everything to shop at the Snoopermarket. I mean, it’s not like rap icons getting involved with food stuffs have ever had any less than profitable runs, right? Oh.

Take it from Snee: ‘No homo’

I love how the hip-hop community was worried that all their battle songs sound gay. Not derogatory gay, but really, really gay. Like “touched if my friends call their wedding a ‘commitment ceremony’” gay.

I can imagine the setting when they came up with “no homo.” DJ Fistmaster is taking a break from a hot and heavy lyrics session, wondering if he came a little too strong onto Dirty Lil’ $anchez when he metaphorically said he would “nut in his eye/ ‘cause he’s a pretty little guy.” Continue reading Take it from Snee: ‘No homo’

Take it from Snee: We, the world, say enough

Most of the Guys may be a little young to remember 1985-1986, the year when you couldn’t escape “We Are the World.” Well, I had to participate in several performances of it all the way up to 1989. (Some music experts credit elementary schools’ adoration of the song as the progenitor of “Kidz Bop.” Think about that.)

Well, the ghosts of Michael Jackson and Lionel Ritchie are at it again.

Dozens of “singers”–nearly twice the number of the 1985 recording–have been invited to remake the song, with a few modified lyrics, for Haitian earthquake relief.

You’re probably wondering why I think this charitable work is a bad idea (other than that I’m horrible person who hates everything). I’m glad you kind of asked: Continue reading Take it from Snee: We, the world, say enough

Respect the Putin

As the saying goes, there ain’t no party like a Moscow party, because a Moscow party don’t stop.

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, who you may know as a politician, showed off his mad rapping skills on Russia’s version of MTV. OK, well really he was just there to talk, but hey, he may have rhymed in his own language.

“I do not think that ‘top-rock’ or ‘down-rock’ breakdance technique is compatible with alcohol or drugs,” Putin told cheering hip-hoppers who responded with chants of “Respect, Vladimir Vladimirovich.”

Putin is pretty gangsta, after all. Remember the campaign for who would be his replacement as president? Anyone who stepped to him got capped in the ass–except with radiation poisoning.

Power company officials just don’t understand

You know how you’ll sometimes hear rappers requesting people to turn up many things, such as bass lines or headphones, while recording? On rare occassions, they may even ask for these things in a live fashion.

DJ Jazzy Jeff (of Jazz fame from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air) may have asked for just a little too much baseline. On Sunday in Kansas City, while giving a concert to eager fans, the power was inexplicably cut. Jazzy Jeff (seriously, that’s just fun to write) left the stage after half an hour of frantic waiting. The president of the Kansas City Power & Light District has said that they did not cut the power to concert. Nonetheless, we all know the truth-it was a very hot day in Kansas City and that haterade was tasting mighty cool.