Our favorite government-sanctioned four day weekend is almost upon us! Normally, this just means drinking (more) on a Wednesday. But, a new survey indicates that 59 percent of us will check our work email over the break.
If that wasn’t bad enough, of those who will be in to eat turducken “in just a minute,” 41 percent will report to be annoyed to have actually found work-related email in their inbox.
People, there are better and less sad ways to avoid your family than pretending to work–only to receive actual work to do. There’s always:
- Food comas.
- Bringing a fake “life partner” to dinner.
- Injuring and then taking someone to the emergency room after the family football game.
Every now and then, an otherwise meaningless story achieves national significance because it contains the right combination of clickable elements. And that’s when The Guys document it in our ever-growing tableau of Profiles of Sadness.
Five Live Oak High School (Morgan Hill, Calif.) students were sent home on May 5 for their choice in clothing. They were all sitting together at lunch when approached by the vice principal. Two were wearing American flag bandannas, and the rest American flag t-shirts.
Yes, all five members of the group–at that lunch table–just happened to wear American paraphernalia, including ‘do-rags, on Cinco de Mayo. (So, either this was a calculated attempt for attention on the traditionally Mexican day, or they’re always dressed as the NASCARiest rednecks west of the Rockies.)
Still, administrators asked them to leave because they were afraid that their t-shirts would antagonize Mexican-American students, causing a race riot within their own walls.
And just to make sure that threat seemed real enough, the reporter found a stupid student believing that the day belongs solely to Mexicans:
“‘I think they should apologize cause it is a Mexican Heritage Day,’ Annicia Nunez, a Live Oak High student, said. ‘We don’t deserve to be get disrespected like that. We wouldn’t do that on Fourth of July.'”
So, for those keeping score at home, we’ve got:
- The violation of five students’ free speech rights for clothing that doesn’t violate dress code policy (except maybe the hats part).
- The intentional expression of unpopular speech without regard for any possible consequences, and then complaints when said consequences were realized.
- The intentional selection of a poor interview subject who does not believe American independence applies to her entire ethnicity, yet a holiday sponsored by Corona does apply to her entire school.
- The subsequent celebration of five a$$holes because of the way this was handled.
Only in America, folks. This could only happen in America.