With President Barack Obama’s inauguration in January 2009, you might have thought that was the end of racism in America. Don’t worry, mein klein kampfs: there’s still plenty to go around.
Some of you probably already know closet racists. You know, the uncle that “doesn’t want to be racist” but “some stereotypes are just true.” Montana’s chief federal judge, Richard Cebull, found himself in just that predicament. He didn’t want to be racist, yet he forwarded an admittedly racist email depicting the President being sired by his mother and an animal because “it was a bit touching.” Judge Cebull still claims he’s not a racist, but you can’t run from what the heart feels, your honor.
But, did you know that there are still out and proud racists? Illinois Republican congressional candidate Arthur Jones wants you to know that “this idea that 6 million Jews were killed in the Holocaust is the biggest, blackest lie in history.” That’s right: not only is he a “former” member of the Nationalist Socialist White People’s Party, but he even thinks lies are black, too.
It’s good to know that, despite the promises, not everything is subject to change.
Let’s say you’re the questionably-reelected leader of a country that wants to develop nuclear technology.
Now let’s say the rest of the world is against that idea because you’re in missile range of a country that you and your government wish didn’t exist anymore.
A. Show these world leaders plans for a nuclear-powered multicultural center, where children can learn peace and understanding about their neighbors, even though the Jews’ skin isn’t green like theirs?
B. At least pretend to believe that the Holocaust happened until you get the materials necessary to provide cheap energy for your country.
C. Deny the Holocaust, boasting that “the anger of professional killers is (a source of) pride for us” and add that this means Israel shouldn’t exist in the first place.
If you answered C, then you too could be the leader of nuke-free Iran!
Bishop Richard Williamson, who was the topic of a Take it from Snee on February 11, was denied getting his parish back by the Pope. This announcement from the Vatican comes after a half-hearted online apology by Williamson, saying he was sorry his comments, which denied the scale of the Holocaust, caused “distress.”
So, while now-normal-person Williamson has a shot at heaven again (with really long odds), he has lost his job because he was unable to reconcile half of the History Channel’s stock footage with some crackpot theory he heard in the 1980s.
And, really, in this economy? That’s punishment.
Let this be a lesson to us all: sometimes, you’re an idiot and better off admitting it.
Man, World War II. It seems like it ended just yesterday, you know? Between every movie using the Nazis as villains to every moral argument reducing to the Nazis, it’s almost like we’re still fighting them today.
Of course, there aren’t any real Nazis anymore. Sure, there are skinheads and neo-Nazis, but these are not your great-grandfather’s Wehrmacht.
No, there’s only one type of actual Nazi left: the one trapped in our brains that we just won’t let die.
Americans were one of the last countries to enter World War II, so maybe we just didn’t get our fill of killing them. Or perhaps the post-war Holocaust footage was so horrible that we feel like we didn’t kill them enough. Either way, without any actual Nazis left, we continue to fight the idea of the Nazi and anyone who considers them almost human is now a Nazi by proxy. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Denying denials of Holocaust-deniers