How To: Find a new home

Are you panicking yet? You should be, because that’s what everyone else is doing. The government is buying out banks and other crap we don’t really understand, the stock market is jerking back and forth worse than Any Winehouse in rehab, and worst of all, executives are going on spa vacations! It’s a regular economic crisis.

If you own a home you bought in the past decade, odds are a lot of this problem has been caused by YOU. Yeah, thanks a lot, jerk. However, it is not just your fault for getting a crappy home loan, it is also the crappy loan company’s fault for giving you a crappy loan, and the crappy bank’s fault for buying the crappy loan.

Still awake?

Good, because what all this means is that you are getting evicted because the banks think you are freeloading and they are sick and tired of you middle class people thinking you can own things. So now that you’re out of a place to live, The Guys present how to find a new home. Continue reading How To: Find a new home

You Missed It: Unsung hero edition

We find ourselves here again, at the end of five consecutive work days in a row. For many, this is a cause for celebration. The Guys have no Friday plans in celebration of the end of the week. However, if you are playing in the British Open this week, odds are you missed it.

King of Beers regime change
Anheuser-Busch stockholders and executives approved a $52 billion offer from Belgian-owned brewer-giant InBev on Monday. This prompted concerns of damage to national pride and Americana across the U.S., meanwhile, Budweiser drinkers everywhere asked “What’s a Belgium?”

Insert Smashmouth song title here
Texas Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton put on a clinic in the first round of the MLB Home Run Derby at Yankee Stadium, hitting a record 28 long balls, some of which have not yet landed. However, he did not come up with the win in the final round–hey, did you hear he was hooked on drugs until he got cleaned up? The following night’s All-Star game lasted an estimated eternity before the American League won in the 15th when the Minnesota Twins’ Justin Morneau scored on a sac fly. By the way, Morneau won the home run derby.

Great time to buy a home
The federal government is going to bail out colossal mortgage lender FannieMae and Freddie Mac, after an announcement this week. See, this all started when the mortgage market, the housing market and so on starting slowing down and people started defaulting …. Sorry, we dosed off there for a second.

Can anyone stop this abomination?
Miley Cyrus said this week she wants to do a new show that would be along the lines of “Sex and the City,” but cleaner and aimed at children and teens. Right, because four female something-teens, each with their own huge Manhattan apartments, giggling over boys and what’s happening to their bodies while sipping flavored water really holds appeal.