Pigeons, not robots, will take over your job

They can also get to work faster than you.

Pigeons: Scourge of statues and friend to weird loners in the park everywhere, may be better at doing your job than you. It’s science.

According to a recent study, pigeons perform just as well, if not better, in switching between tasks quickly. Their high-order cognitive processing is just as good as ours. Scientists say this could lead to jobs once thought to need the intelligence of a human to instead be performed by a pigeon. Simply put: the birds are better at multitasking than you are, and they’re coming for your job.

Such a shift would no doubt delight business owners everywhere. There’s no law that says you have to pay animals for their work. You don’t really have to provide them health care coverage, either. And bird seed costs less than keeping the lights, water and heat running in an office setting. Think of the savings.

Your head would be bigger if your ancestors didn’t eat cheese

Thousands of years ago, people decided to stop roaming around and killing stuff and set up farms. And somehow our heads stopped growing because we invented cheese.

According to researchers, humans began to have smaller heads and sleeker jaws around the time that we started relying on dairy foods, like milk and cheese, and farmed plants, for sustenance. The argument is that humans started eating softer foods, rather than crunching and grinding away on whatever we could rustle up in the forest. This meant that we didn’t need huge, powerful jaws anymore.

But it’s important to keep in mind that the whole reason we started farming was to make beer. Society as we know it today was founded on beer and cheese.

Stoned Age: Ancient humans used, traded cannabis

Thousands of years ago, humans were scattered across what are now Europe and Asia. They hunted, they fought the brutal elements, and they survived long enough to found Western civilization. They also got down with cannabis.

Researchers believe the three tribes responsible for populating Eurasia long ago also spread cannabis across the land. Scientists found that the herb has been found at archeological sites in Japan and Eastern Europe at about the same time, suggesting that ancient humans started using it for food and a buzz around that time. The various tribe may have even traded it. That means cave men were drug dealers.

But if ancient humans smoked cannabis, why don’t all modern European and Asian language share the word “Dude?”

And you thought the 70s were hairy …

Gym rats: no matter how hard you work out, the world’s most dangerous exercise is long extinct. Having sex with Neanderthals and Denisovans made your ancestors stronger, so long as it didn’t kill them.

Friday morning eye opener

Good morning, Internet. This blog has seen its fair share of those random text-based ads you see on web pages, e-mail messages and search engines. Sometimes they are interesting, most of the time they are irrelevant (except, of course, for any of our advertisers), but sometimes they can be shocking.

Recently, this blog came across a Web site called DateACougar.com (link may not be SFW, but there is no nudity) and we were shocked! How could anyone even think of dating a ferocious animal like a cougar cougar? Last time we checked, cougars are animals and we happen to be at war with animals!

Nevertheless, for some reason this site seems to be popular with women in their 40s and 50s, as well as younger men. One can choose to search through profiles to find a man, a cougar or a couple (of humans, we assume). This is just sick!

Remember folks, just because she may have a pretty smile, wag her tail and even purr when you walk in the room does not make it OK to date outside of your species–no matter how luscious those felines may look!