Tag: humor

Funny guys get girls?

Here’s some news: women say they like guys who can make them laugh.  That is pretty much the same thing they have been saying for decades. But, a new study done in England confirms it once again. Women think they are attracted to a guy who is funny. This is another example of women having no idea what they are talking about.

Of course, funny guys know better. Sure, being able to make a girl laugh is a plus, but that ability in itself is not what makes girls get all squirmy. If that were true, I would have girls throwing themselves at me in college. Comedians would be on par with rock stars. Sadly, neither is true. The truth is most girls like guys who appear confident and can make a joke now and then.

In other news, the sky is blue.

Comedy writers prepare for June 8 Palin speech

Comedy writers ranging from The Daily Show to blogs like this and even your mom’s weekly “hee-mail” are cracking their knuckles, getting ready for a return to the good old days before economic reports and Jim Cramer.

For the first time since two weeks ago, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin will return to the public eye on June 8 as the keynote speaker at the annual Republican Senate-House Dinner. Writers are licking their chops, already backfiling graphics requests for Palin’s head photoshopped onto various scenes, like on an iceflow or at a klansmeeting.

In some cases, we’ve received reports of Web sites having already written their articles upon the AP news release. They figure Palin will rehash the latest GOP talking points, plus a few “alsos” and “such ases,” and the rest of their stories would only require minor edits from there.

We, here at SG, however, will just file our story now:

Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin.

Oh, that old joke

Believe it or not, ancient civilizations were not just about wrestling nude or growing bitchin’ goatees. The ancients also seem to have had a sense of humor. So much so, that researchers say the world’s oldest known joke dates back to 1900 BC, to Sumeria. Stop me if you’ve heard this one:

“Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap.”

Now that you are done rolling around on the floor, let us analyze this joke. First off, it shows us that humans have loved toilet humor since long before there were toilets. Because of this, we should call it something like “hole dug in the sand humor.” Secondly, it shows us that while evolution may only be a theory, the evolution of humor is a law. Here is how we would say it today:

“My wife was sitting on my lap the other day (I know it seems strange, but she’s half my age, I’m 26, by the way) and she farted. Now, it took all the self restraint I could muster not to throw her across the room in digust. It got me wondering, does this happen to everyone?”