City wants to force sobriety during hurricanes

When a storm hits, it’s time to crack one open, but that won’t be the case any longer for one Florida city.

Cape Coral, Florida has passed an ordinance banning the sale of beer during a state of emergency. The iron hand of the city wants to keep people off the roads during a hurricane, especially when it comes to making a beer run. The city has already had the ability to ban the sales of other kinds of booze, but beer was still allowed — until now that is.

So start making your hurricane preparedness kit now. You don’t want to be caught sober when the storm moves in.

You Missed It: There goes your fantasy team edition

It seems like a lot of Fridays are all about people running away. Mostly, it’s because people are running away to go enjoy the weekend. They don’t care about you or your stupid economy. But we’re always here for you, except when were on vacation. If you were too busy answering questions for Charles Gibson this week, odds are you missed it.

Guess it’s back to knocking up models until next September
On Sunday, in quarter 1 of week 1 of the NFL season, legendary New England quarterback Tom Brady injured his knee against the Kansas City Chiefs. Yes, the NFL lost its reigning MVP only a few minutes after his season had started. Wait a minute, this wasn’t supposed to happen! Brady wasn’t on the cover of Madden NFL 09.

The illest of all the dictators
We said it a week ago: if you talk smack about a world leader on your blog, they will read it and take it to heart. Less than a week after we said Kim Jong Il “sucks,” the dictator of the People’s Glorious Worker’s Paradise in the Republic of the Magnificent North Korea was noticeably absent from the country’s 60th anniversary celebration. This is kind of like not showing up to your own party. It has been reported that Kim may have had brain surgery after a recent stroke which was brought on by a deadly capitalist blood clot.

No ‘hike’ until after Ike
Hurricane Ike, currently a Category 2 storm, is on its (his?) way to Texas, after pummeling the Caribbean earlier this week. Galveston, Texas and parts of Houston have been evacuated, as Ike is expected to strengthen before making landfall tonight. The NFL has even postponed the Baltimore Ravens-Houston Texans game until Monday. This means that Ike is easily the worst storm named after a president since–wait, no. This one’s just not working for me. Moving right along ….

Kanye West doesn’t like photographers
And finally, rapper Kanye West made headlines this week, not for his music or his mouth. No, this time actions spoke louder than words. West had landed at LAX airport in Los Angeles only a few minutes before, and the paparazzi was there to greet him. Unfortunately, West did not appear to like it. A video appears to show him attacking two photographers, ripping their cameras out of their hands and smashing them. West was arrested on suspicion of vandalism. West’s spokesman said the flash went through the rapper’s lensless sunglasses, which aggrivated him very much.