You know who also hated German mulitculturalism?

Is it just us, or does it get a little awkward when a German chancellor declares an end to multiculturalism?

Maybe it’s the accent? It just sounds familiar, like something from recent history ….

The blond hair and blue eyes are really making it somehow uncomfortable, like Indiana Jones should punch her out and steal her clothes for some reason.

Oh, well. It’ll come to us in the middle of the night or in the shower later.

Only Americans are killed with guns

After last week’s shooting spree at the American Civic Association, an immigrant education center, in Birmingham, New York, Sen. Charles Schumer has proposed a bill to posthumously award citizenship to those who were killed before becoming United Statesians.

Since the U.S. has the highest gun death rate above the other 20 richest nations, it does seem a purely American act to die in a random shooting spree. Let’s bury them each with a Big Mac and call it American tragedy.

Take it from Snee: Citizenship tests and ‘biased’ debates

I’ve worn many hats in my day: lover, fighter, bitch, mother, firefighter (stripper at a children’s birthday party), Corsican–this list could go on and on. But, the most important hat I’ve ever worn is that of a problem-solver, a societal engineer if you will.

Right now, we have two major problems here in America:

1) There’s a new citizenship test for immigrants who are in the process of naturalization. The only hangup is that some people think the answers might be too hard for non-English speakers.

2) The moderator for the vice presidential debate might be biased against idiots people who are really smart, but just don’t come across that way when explaining why they’re smart. Just like O.J., Sarah Palin might have a hard time Thursday night because somebody might have read a newspaper that morning.

Here’s the solution: switch the formats. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Citizenship tests and ‘biased’ debates

The next wave of illegal immigrants

Global warming may be a threat after all. Not because some scientists are worried that we will be plunged into a new ice age because of it–that’s just crazy talk. But because warmer climates could result in us getting some rather unpleasant neighbors.

Scientists say that if the planet heats up at its current rate, by 2100, parts of North America could have a climate similar to Pakistan or Indonesia. While this blog has no idea what that means, there is a scarier aspect to this: Pythons could invade our territory.

“Climate modeling for the year 2100 which shows the possible climate range for pythons moving northward and swallowing up northernmost parts of Texas and Arkansas, the southeast half of Kansas, the southern half of Missouri and parts of southern Illinois and Indiana. Further east the big snakes could comfortably creep through Tennessee, Kentucky, Maryland, Delaware and southern New Jersey.”

The west coast isn’t safe either. Folks, we have to either fight global warming or fight pythons. Since it’s unclear whether or not a shotgun can kill global warming, this blog recommends we go after pythons.