Tag: independence day

Take pride, America: We’ve got a record stockpile of cheese

We’re only a day away from the most American holiday other than Black Friday: Independence Day. And while there are a lot of patriotic articles out there spouting tired old facts, here’s a new one: the U.S. has the most cheese stockpiled right now than it likely ever has.

According to a USDA report, America has some 1.385 billion pounds of cheese reserves, you know, in case there’s a run on pizzas. That number is higher than any level known since the cheese stockpiles started being recorded in 1917. That should make every American swell with pride, or Wis Pride.

This cheese is my cheese, this cheese is your cheese, from Monterey jack to Vermont sharp cheddar.

Take it from Snee: What has the electorate done?!

You know, I thought your average American voter was a reasonably bright, discerning individual. Someone who can learn from past mistakes, and not elect the same failure. It appears I was wrong. America, how could you be so stupid? How could you re-elect Bill Pullman as President of the United States?  Continue reading Take it from Snee: What has the electorate done?!

Cue X-Files theme song

A 2-ton object crashed to the ground in Mongolia. Nobody is sure what it is, so a report was sent in to MUFON, a UFO-tracking organization. Could it be something from a tangent universe? Or even as far away as-gasp-North Dakota?

The report states that two objects fell near the Mongolian capital on February 19. The first object, according to the report, weighed 10 kg, while the second larger object weighed “approximately 2 tons.”

Has anybody opened this thing up to see whether there are any aliens trapped inside? And if so, have they been created by a punch from Will Smith?

Not exactly what we were aiming for

Fireworks were seen all over this fine country over the weekend. As we are told, the U.S. celebrated its Independence Day. And if you care, Canada celebrated their existence last week, too. (Seriously? You’re still part of the British Empire, what do you have to celebrate?)

But fireworks aren’t always a good thing, especially if you live in Congo. There, in the city of Goma, a fireworks display intended to celebrate peace that began in January made the civil war-weary city dive for cover, thinking the war had started up again. People went diving for cover upon hearing the explosions going off.

Everyone, let’s agree not to play with bubble wrap around Congo for a while, sound good?