‘Not tonight, I had a headache’

Nothing prevents headaches like Advil.

We’ve always wondered when men would have pill-form birth control, and it looks like we always have. Research indicates that taking the daily maximum dose of ibuprofen may lower testosterone production, resulting in at least temporary infertility.

The research team discovered this effect when studying high-level male athletes, who often take the highest doses of ibuprofen to treat and prevent muscle pain. This is especially bad news for The Guys, who are high-level drinking athletes — we already can’t take acetaminophen.

Dogs seek reassurance they’re still men(‘s best friend)

While science figures out what's going on with dogs' low quality sperm, get ready to see more of them hitting the gym.
While science figures out what’s going on with dogs’ low quality sperm, get ready to see more of them hitting the gym.

You might not notice it from the marks left by dogs that hump your leg, but their sperm count appears a little low.

According to researchers from the University of Nottingham, the percentage of viable, motile sperm in five breeds has fallen 43.1 percent in only 26 years. The only thing that has increased in their baby batter is the amount of chemicals linked to altering sperm quality.

Researchers are now investigating what introduced these chemicals into the dogs and whether the same sources could also be causing low quality human sperm development. (Well, not us specifically. The Guys regularly submit samples to measure Guyness and root out comedy performance-enhancing drugs.)

But, until we know what’s happening for sure, you should probably reassure your dog that he is, in fact, a good, masculine boy.