Tag: insanity

Clark can’t save you now

If you weren’t aware of it by now, Cousin Eddie, also known by his slave name as Randy Quaid, is a bit crazy. That’s not an actual medical diagnosis (we’d save that for the dear and knowledgeable Dr. Snee), but it’s fairly accurate enough. You see, there’s been a bit of a man-hunt for both Randy and his wife, Evi, as the two have been alleged to be illegal squatters of property.

Recently though, Randy and Evi were found in Vancouver. When questioned by Canadian officials regarding their behavior, Randy stated:

he and his wife are seeking asylum there because eight of their close friends, including Australian actor Heath Ledger, have been murdered in the US and they don’t want to be next.

Such an insidious plot! People, we can’t make this up, because some people are doing that for us. Here’s the real secret conspiracy: The green stuff will kill you but the brown slop won’t.

‘Nugget lady is embarrassed by her actions’ — shocking!

In a SeriouslyGuys update, we think it’s important to tell you that actions sometimes have repercussions.

A few days ago, LaTreasa Goodman was in the mood for chicken nuggets at her local McDonald’s. Unfortunately, they were all out. So, she did what any insane sensible person would do and called 911 three times because they were out of the fried meat patties.

Fortunately, LaTreasa now seems to have learned something from her actions. Patience. Humility. Self-esteem. Options (something which the manager of the restaurant clearly did not want to give). The difference between an “emergency” and an emergency.

“When you feel that you’ve been mistreated or misused or robbed out of your money, you have the right to call 911,” Goodman said. “That’s the purpose of 911, so I thought.”

Or, maybe not. No. No no no no no no no.

Call it what it is

Remember when bathroom tissue was called “toilet paper,” or when prisons became “penitentiaries?” Well, the PC police seem to be at it again, in of all places, West Virginia.

There, the new owners of a 19th century hospital that has held many titles, have changed the name of the building back to the “Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum.” This is causing a stir with people who find that term for the mentally ill, or as medical books refer to them, “nutsos,” is rude and should not be revived.

This blog must defend the new name. It is well documented that insanity comes from looking at the moon too much, which is where the term “lunatic” comes from. To deny this simple fact of god-fearing science is to deny reality. Or perhaps it’s the “asylum” part they find offensive. Should the crazies not have a safe place, or asylum, from the world? Shame on you, liberals!

One thing all parties agree upon is that watching West Virginians attempt to spell Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum should be a lot of fun.