A wrong-handed celebration

You know how we know that Charlie Chaplin was secretly evil? He penciled in his Hitler 'stache with his left hand.
You know how we know that Charlie Chaplin was secretly evil? He penciled in his Hitler ‘stache with his left hand.

If you thought today seemed a little sinister, there’s good reason. Today, the world celebrates International Left-handers Day, even if we know that left-handedness is a sign of evil.

If you’re wondering when International Mixed-handedness Day is, it, like ambidextrous people, doesn’t exist. If you pitch southpaw, then it doesn’t matter if you catch southpaw, too. You’re left-handed. (And let’s not get into the affront to god and threat to right-handedness that trans-handed¬†people present.)

So, if you know a left-handed person, pat them on the back — with your correct hand. Tolerance is really in right now.