Tag: intoxication

The liquid hits keep coming

Remember Robert Vietze? I don’t know how you couldn’t, as it’s clearly a very important name!

Actually, if it wasn’t for linking, we probably wouldn’t know it either, so we understand your confusion.

Nonetheless, Robert Vietze, drunken pee-er of the skies extraordinaire, has some celebrity status to him, making his aviation urination inebriation celebration a bit more interesting. Vietze was a member of the United States’ ski team’s development squad. That’s a lot of words to say “practice squad.” However, the key word to keep in mind in the previous sentence is “was.” Why is that?

Because Vietze was given the ol’ heave-ho off the development team after the news of what seemingly happened in the yellow blue skies. So, at least he’s got that going for him. Wait, do practice squad people get paid, or do they have to stock shelves like Kurt Warner?

Well, he did stack the deck against himself….

My younger brother recently got his learner’s permit. This is important because he is now one step closer to becoming a functional member of society. Myself, it took three attempts to finally seal the deal with getting the learner’s permit. Still, I can’t help but think that my adventures with the DMV were easier than that of Susumu Moriya.

Apparently Moriya entered a Japanese police station around 9:30 AM to renew his drivers license while completely intoxicated. After experiencing a bit of trouble with the touch screen interface that’s used to print out the request form, Moriya asked for help. Unable to understand the officer who came to assist him, he became belligerent, even going as far as to throw his license to the floor in anger.

When the officer had smelt the alcohol on Moriya’s breath, he asked how Moriya had arrived at the station. Moriya then lied, stating that he had walked. However, the moment he was asked to leave, Moriya went straight to his car. 200 meters later, and Moriya was arrested for drunk driving.

He later informed the police that he had started drinking as early as 6 AM and had consumed two beers and several glasses of shochu. Pro-tip for all you hopeful drivers out there: visiting a police station while drunk as a skunk probably isn’t the best of ideas.

Sounds like the basis for a blue movie

OK, picture this: it’s a sleepy Saturday night. You find yourself sitting at home with nothing to do, having watched all the shows on your backlog. It’s soooooo boring. There’s nothing to do! What will you do with your down time? Well, if you’re bored over at the Ebara Branch of the Tokyo Fire Department, you break into a girl’s apartment and steal her underwear. Or at least, attempt to.

The vice captain of the Ebara Branch of the Tokyo Fire Department was held by police after entering a woman’s Suginami Ward apartment (doesn’t anyone lock their doors anymore?) around 4 a.m. and taking two pairs of her underwear. The woman awoke hearing the noise and was able to accost the fireman until the police showed (oh yeah, a real tough guy). The fireman informed the police that he had unintentionally wandered into the wrong house, thinking it was a friend’s. This now raises the disturbing question of just what had he intended to do with the underwear of his actual friend.

Of note is that the fireman in question was as apparently described being “intoxicated” as well. Seriously, someone needs to hook up Japan with some Victoria’s Secret already. You people are crazy.