Perhaps the French and Swiss have had enough of being referred to as Europe’s darling little debutantes, because they’ve got us all scared now.
A team of scientists from both countries are ready to flip the switch on the world’s largest collider, an atom-smasher, just to see what happens. Possible results include:
- Showing us invisible matter.
- Revealing other dimensions.
- Spawning a black hole that will swallow the Earth.
- Torching the Earth with particles known as strangelets.
- Dog and cat cohabitation.
Of course, there’s one side effect that wasn’t mentioned by either concerned party or the article: massive worldwide orgies on the day it’s turned on. You know we’re stocking up on flavored massage oil.