He’ll hear from Obadiah Stane’s lawyer

Wang Kang is a man on a mission.

That mission is not to stop crime.
That mission is not to commit crimes.
That mission is not to impress his colleagues.
That mission is definitely not to get laid.

Wang Kang’s mission is to build a replica of the Iron Man MK-1 armor from the beginning of Iron Man (Vietghaniban terrorists not included) out of foam, wires and tubes (he almost had the ingredients that were used to put together the first internet), and then, successfully wear it to his job.


WARNING: Scratching “yourself” with 10x your normal strength may lead to hazardous results.

Everyone just loves being a superhero. We mean, sure, being bad could be pretty cool, but ultimately, everyone wants to be the hero. Well, true believer, now you, too, can be Iron Man and only for the low, low price of $4200.

Cyberdyne, a Japanese technology firm that totally has nothing to do at all with the Cyberdyne of the Terminator/killer robot apocalypse film franchise, has begun building a powered exoskeleton suit for purchase. Named the HAL exoskeleton, it uses sensors to increase your strength to double the power. Possibly even tenfold.

Okay, so actually we just wanted to say the word tenfold.

Unfortunately, there are just a few things wrong with the situation:

  1. Even though the suits are only $4200 each, the annual production is limited to simply 400 units. By the time you finish this sentence, they’re probably all sold out.
  2. Cyberdyne? HAL? Anything combining these two words effectively means the end of mankind. We’re boned.
  3. Try to scratch your butt while wearing that thing. Don’t be surprised to hear the suit respond to you with, “I can’t do that, Dave.”

The McBournie Minute: Man watching ‘Watchmen’ checks watch

Once again, fanboys, you have hyped the crap out of a movie and thus ruined it for me. I finally got to see Watchmen over the weekend. I’m not going to point fingers, but fans of the “novel” played it up to be the second coming. I was thoroughly entertained, even though the movie was slow as hell. That being said, it’s still just a comic book movie, and those can only be so good. I would rank this one somewhere between Iron Man and Daredevil. (It’s good for what it is, but it’s nothing transcendent.)

My main problem with the movie is that there is very little explained. Yes, fanboys, I know–that’s the point. But you know what? I’m not going back to spend another $20 and nearly three hours of my life to try to figure out some of the glaring plot holes.

Without giving away any of the plot points, let’s take a look at some of the issues I have. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Man watching ‘Watchmen’ checks watch

The McBournie Minute: Save me from the superheroes

It’s not exactly news to anyone that Hollywood is out of ideas creatively. They have been for at least a decade now. Television and cinema are quite possibly the best examples of how we as Americans love having our favorite shows repackaged and sold again to us. There are so many tangents on this point, but I am going to stick with one that is especially topical this summer: superheroes.

Iron Man. The Incredible Hulk. Hancock. The Dark Knight. I myself am guilty of wanting to see these movies. In May I said I wanted to see them this summer because they looked good, but in truth, of the three out so far, I have only seen one. It is not that they suddenly lost their appeal to me, it is just that I can only watch the same thing so many times in a row and justify paying for it. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Save me from the superheroes

The McBournie Minute: Spend summer inside

The summer time brings warmer weather, which makes people wear less, creating more to look at. However, summer also means the summer movie season, which brings even cooler stuff to look at. I have always been something of a summer movie fan.

One summer I had a series of coupons that gave me more money back than the price of admission. I frequented the cinema that summer and turned a profit, too. I will likely never reach that goal again, but I can list off the movies I want to see this summer and why they look so great.

Iron Man
Honestly, when I first heard about this movie, I was not excited in the least. Then I saw the teaser trailer. Robert Downey Jr. looks to have found himself the perfect role: playing a rich jerk with some boozing problems. While this movie is out in theaters, I have not yet seen it. Stop telling me it’s really good or I’ll end up not liking it. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Spend summer inside