Tag: italy

When in Rome, do a Roman city official

Are you frustrated with our current political climate?  Do you find yourself saying more and more that you’re moving to Canada or Australia if so and so doesn’t get elected?

Then perhaps you should consider Italy, where a porn star is using pictures of her tookhas to campaign for a seat in Rome’s city hall.  (To be fair, voters will want to be sure that she’ll fit in the chair.)

Her “if-I’m-elected” promise: a red light district within, um, spitting distance of the Vatican.

If that doesn’t seal the deal for you, then maybe this will get you to the passport office:

“D’Abbraccio, in her 40s, isn’t the first adult entertainer to dip her painted toenails into Italian politics. Ilona Staller, known as “Cicciolina”, sat in parliament in the 1980s and was famous for her impromptu stripteases.”

Our priests don’t fake it … right?

This blog is appalled at a Florence, Italy, priest who faked exorcisms.  Other priests reading this may wonder, “What’s the big deal?  Everybody fakes it sometimes.  It was still a nice possession.”

Well, we’re glad you wondered that.  The Guys put a lot of stock in our ability to conjure demons and want to think that you’re having a good time expelling them from our bodies.  We want to know that all your squirming around, screaming and praying are the real deal, not some patronizing gesture so we’ll stop vomiting on you.

At the very least, please tell us if we’re not hitting that special spot.  We’ll step it up a notch: walking on ceilings, offering more of our bodies …. We’re not even opposed to shouting dirty talk at you.

However, let’s not go too far.  We’re not wearing that.

You have to buy an extra ticket

The U.S. isn’t the only country whose airport baggage screeners come across something odd every now and then (like a fake bomb), apparently it’s a unifying experience.

Baggage handlers in Munich stopped a Italian woman after they found something in a plastic bag they were fairly certain was not allowed as a carry-on: human remains. The skeleton of what was found to be her brother, who had died 11 years earlier, got the woman pulled out of line for a few short questions.

Turns out, the woman’s brother died in Brazil and had always wanted to be buried in Italy, so she was simply trying to fulfill his wishes. However, oddly enough, you’re not allowed to have a dead person in your luggage.

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Cemetery Man’

A rollicking good time that doesn’t care one what about visual excess or maximum gore, Cemetery Man will entertain far more people than I presume would expect to enjoy it. Rupert Everett’s star qualities, finally made known to a broad audience since his killer turn in My Best Friend’s Wedding, are the perfect blend of smirkiness and swarthiness to hold together this tale of a graveyard attendant who is constantly, wearily assaulted by the corpses of people who just don’t feel like being dead. The buzz of Rupert’s doorbell usually signals the arrival of one such zombie, whom he promptly and even politely kills, then buries with the help of his mishmouthed, hunchback assistant Gnaghi. All in a day’s work for Rupert, whose name in this baroquely perverse film is Francesco Dellamore Dellamorte, which literally translates to “Francesco of Love, of Death.”

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