OUTRAGE! DISBELIEF! CAPITALIZED WORDS!

A nearly two year old baby jaguar has bad teeth. In the wild, that’s called the natural order of things. If the creature’s eaten, the creature’s eaten. That would do a fine job of teaching it to be born with better teeth. Bleeding heart biologists are always clamoring about how we should leave animals the way that they are and not upset the gentle and delicate order of nature, so that’s what was done, right?

Wrong.

Four vets (the species traitors of the medical world) performed surgery that fixed the problem. Which is just dandy. There are children in the world that have serious dental problems, both functional and aesthetic, but rather than pooling our time and knowledge together for those, we instead get to help out an animal. Jerks.

In happier news, a man performing free running in the early morning hours in Tempe fell and suffered a life-threatening head injury. Why is this happier news, you may ask? This aids in proving that social darwinism, while not doing a fine enough job on the Kardashians and Lohans of the world (which are the Kardashians and Lohans), does exist.

MasterChugs Theater: ‘Harold and Maude’

Love is in the air here at SG. Well, not really, as we tend to be more broke than flush with money, but we at least try to make an effort. Bryan McBournie loves a nice walk on a moonlit beach, and truthfully, we do enjoy the chocolates.

Okay, so it’s more of I definitely do, but if they’re connected to mint flavoring, then we’re through, you hear me? Anyways, all this month, we’ll be taking a look at some movies that have love as a theme, as we’ve done in previous years past, and along the way, we’ll be bringing back a much requested side feature. The first one up is Harold and Maude, a black comedy hailing from the long ago and far away year of 1971. Hit the jump to find out why you should watch it, especially during this month of looooove. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Harold and Maude’