Jack did not die in vain?

James Cameron — who most recently made us all feel better about ourselves by being aware of the plight of Native Nav’i — has finally heard our complaint about Titanic. No, not why Rose didn’t marry that cool Billy Zane guy after Jack died. That Jack died at all when there was clearly room on that raft for two.

In a recent interview with IGN, Cameron says it’s not an issue of room, but of buoyancy. The video in the link is where he justifies casting Kate Winslet despite her being “Hollywood fat.”

We’ll see what Mythbusters has to say, James. But, The Guys still maintain that an aristocrat pocketing a giant blue diamond when weight is an issue and a poor Irish guy is drowning and freezing … this is the very definition of class warfare.

The McBournie Minute: The one where I care about famous people

Before we begin, I’d like to apologize for the lack of You Missed It last week. I was actually in the process of writing it up when my laptop died. Not like the battery died or it just froze up and I had to reboot. I mean, dead. It’s being sent back to the nice people at Toshiba because it’s under warranty, and for the time being I am on my crappy old laptop, hence forth known as the craptop. Now, on with the show!

As much as I hate the entertainment industry, I can’t avoid it all the time. Sometimes it comes to find me. I guess that’s OK, because I know where to find it, and just because it knocks on my door with its big, hairy fist doesn’t mean I have to answer it. That being said, I’m going to give a run-down of a few Hollywood items that came across my desk which has more or less confirmed my suspicion that I’m not missing out on things I’m missing out on.

Also, I figure I need to try to appeal to more than just my usual demographic, the white male 20-somethings who have a thing for excessive use of punctuation. Here I come, tweens! Continue reading The McBournie Minute: The one where I care about famous people

The internet is not ready for Avatar

Are you feeling down? Has life just kicked you around like you wouldn’t believe? Did you get that girl knocked up, only to get fired from your job for being late too often? Is your completely bullsh*t and not a real totally real disease of Asperger Syndrome keeping you from being a productive member of society (which is totally not your own fault at all)?

Then we, repeat, cannot stress enough that YOU NOT SEE JAMES CAMERON’S MOVIE AVATAR. Because you will kill yourself.

Oh, not because it’s a bad movie. The plot is far from mind-blowing, but the graphical aspects of the movie alone are a technological achievement for the ages (not out of the norm for the director [Editor’s note: stop editorializing out of your column, Chug]). No, we say that you shouldn’t see the movie because the internet tells us that. And, as always, if it’s on the internet, then it must be true.

Recent posts on Avatar fansites have seen a slightly less than positive view toward our world. It would seem that fans of the movie are becoming depressed because the world of the movie totally outshines our own tangible world. How utterly cruel of Cameron to do such an act. Some of the posts include wonderful passages like:

“That’s all I have been doing as of late, searching the Internet for more info about ‘Avatar.’ I guess that helps. It’s so hard I can’t force myself to think that it’s just a movie, and to get over it, that living like the Na’vi will never happen. I think I need a rebound movie,”


“Ever since I went to see Avatar I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ “

Congratulations emo kids of the internet. You’ve now made my day.