You Missed It: Obama does Jay-walking edition

Hi, folks. Have you gotten over your hangovers yet? You were probably out drinking green beer on Tuesday afternoon, just as St. Patrick (or for our Spanish-speaking readers, San Patricio) had asked to be remembered. Here’s a new reason to celebrate, aside from the fact that it’s Friday: it’s the first day of spring! If you were busy updating your mugshot, odds are you missed it.

Well, Letterman, there’s always Cheney
Barack Obama, the current U.S. president that is living in the White House right now and has the nuke codes and stuff, sat down for an interview on 20/20 60 Minutes The View The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Obama has time for these interviews, because he’s not busy fixing the economy. So how did he do? Let’s listen to him describe his bowling abilities.

“”It’s like — it was like Special Olympics or something.”

Ug. Sounds like his material needs a bailout.

Recession punching bag of the week
Last week it was Jim Cramer ruining the economy. This week, we turned our attention to AIG CEO G. Gordon Edward Liddy. On Wednesday, Liddy testified at a congressional hearing, in an attempt to explain why his company had given out millions of dollars in bonuses, some of which were retention bonuses to people who left, after receiving federal bailout money. Liddy apologized to lawmakers and–I’m sorry, mobs are shouting too loud. Can’t even hear myself type. Let’s move on.

Banana pickers working all day really should stop habit of ‘drink a rum’
If you’re like most people, you like your bananas as spider-free as you can get them. However, if you live in Oklahoma, you may want to change to another fruit. In Tulsa, a Brazilian wandering spider was found wandering on some bananas at a grocery store  that had been shipped in from Honduras (which is not Brazil). The spider was saved, even though it is one of the deadliest spiders on Earth, and transferred to a local university. However, the spider did not make it through the week. Due to safety concerns, the spider was destroyed, likely by firing squad.

You Missed It: Sweeps week edition

Hey, guess what? It’s Friday. It’s finally here. Best of all, it’s the weekend before St. Patrick’s Day. That means it is officially time to go out and celebrate your Irish heritage. Even if you have none. Then again, it’s also Friday the 13th–again. So you may want to watch out for ladders you could potentially walk under. If you were busy watching stocks go up for a change, odds are you missed it.

Is the ‘mad’ in Mad Money for craziness or anger?
All week long (or at least it seemed that way), Jon Stewart and Jim Cramer were feuding on the television. It started off with a critical commentary Stewart had for CNBC pundit Rick Santelli and his comments about home owners. The home owners are stupid. No they’re not. Jim Cramer is a douche. Hey, I heard that! Cramer is still a douche. Joe Scarborough agrees I am not. Dora the Explorer swears. Cramer more or less apologizes and says he will be more investigative during an interview on The Daily Show. There, feudin’ over in just one paragraph!

Orbiting trash makes the Space Indian cry
The crew of the International Space Station had to rush to the escepe pod for about ten minutes because a piece of space debris (manmade, of course) was coming at them at several times the speed of a bullet. The object, not bigger than a pencil, passed with in three miles of the space station. How do we know? NASA tracks these things, thousands of them, actually. Wait a minute, they have an escape pod on that thing? Awesome, it’s like Space Balls!

Who doesn’t love the Dutch?
Last week, we talked briefly about how pointless the World Baseball Classic was. This week, it got a little interesting, because some crazy team from the Netherworld Nether region Netherlands beat the heavily favored Dominican team–twice, thus advancing them to the next round. Pedro Cerrano sacrificed a chicken before the games, but it did him no good.