Do immortals walk amongst us?

No, of course not. Don’t be silly.

They only fly First Class, and it costs $20 to see them in 3D.

According to the leader in news, eBay, photographic evidence of immortality — or at least Biblically-long life — and, well, you’re not going to like who it is. One is being sold of John Travolta, and another is of Nicolas Cage. (The Nic Cage photo auction is no longer active.)

In each case, the poster suggested some outlandish story about the two being time travelers or vampires, but let’s not get crazy here. First of all, you can’t take a picture of a vampire because their pale skin and oily hair reflect the flash back into the aperture. And a time traveler? Please. No self-respecting time traveler would pay the big bucks to develop it when there are perfectly good photo fun centers at amusement parks.

No, sometimes people just won’t die, no matter how many terrible movies they make.

Eat My Sports: Great, it’s historic, now blow it up

Following last night’s historic Home Run Derby, in which Josh Hamilton smacked balls further away from home plate than John Travolta is currently from having a mildly decent film career, we have the 2008 All-Star Game. A game which the National League has not won since 1996, and have not tied (thanks Bud Selig) since 1992. And while all of the media is busy praising The House That Ruth Built. I’m finding this whole festivity, a freaking riot. By the way, if George Herman Ruth ever built a house, he was rarely sober, so I wouldn’t trust the foundation. I could go on for another 1,500 words in metaphors, but I’m on a deadline. Continue reading Eat My Sports: Great, it’s historic, now blow it up