Tag: johnny depp

The McBournie Minute: Still churning out crap, just a different shade

I’m not really sure what kind of a world we live in, anymore–at least as far as movies are concerned. Judd Apatow makes a serious (and disappointing) movie, Johnny Depp and Michael Mann somehow manage to flop at the box office, and some alien-Guantanamo thing is #1. What the hell?

The country right now is all about sequels or related spin-offs. Just take a gander at Transformers 2: Revenge of the Volume Dial and G.I. Joe. Hasbro is trying to get their nostalgia products formed into a movie genre aimed at the 25 and under crowd, plus toy sales. I get that movie makers want to stick with franchises that work, but do we really need a G.I. Joe 2?

Instead, let’s go with another Hasbro toy: Play-Doh. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: Still churning out crap, just a different shade

Ye like me cannonballs, don’t ye?

pr1Pirates are sexy. That’s just a reality. From Johnny Depp to Davy Jones, women just cannot get enough of those toothless, peg legged, diseased pirates.

We all know that pirates have been making the headlines lately, especially this week when an American captain was taken hostage, but then the U.S. of A. showed them that we didn’t fight the Barbary Wars (look it up) for nothing. Now, it seems that Somali women are flocking to ports so that they can marry a pirate. This is of course because of their goatees and rather large hats.

Then again, maybe it’s because they could be the only ones in Somalia with money. Who knows?

Domestically, we find pirates as sexy as ever, and the University of Maryland is no exception. They got in a bit of hot water recently when the students planned to screen Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge, a porn movie that shows once again, pirates are so sexy, even the female ones can’t help but jump each other. (No, there was is no cameo by Long John Silver.) When the state government found out, the legislature threatened to cut the school’s funding.

And that, me hearties, is a threat no pirate can take.

In response, the students held a rally and a discussion about free speech. Then they showed a few scenes from the historically-accurate film, none of which had booty in them.

You Missed It: Publicity stunt edition

Is it just us, or did September pass by far too quickly? By the time You Missed It comes around next Friday, it will be October, which more or less makes it officially Dead Leaf Season, better known as fall. Sure it may already be fall, but September never really feels like fall. October, on the other hand, can be associated with nothing but autumn. If you were busy watching the leaves turn this week, odds are you missed it.

Debating at the debate? Well that’s debatable
This week, Sen. John McCain announced he was suspending his campaign so that he could hunker down and fix the economy with the rest of Congress. He also said the debate scheduled for tonight should be moved, but when Sen. Barack Obama disagreed, McCain threatened not to show up unless real progress was made on the issue. The result remains yet to be seen, however, as of last night, if you had Washington Mutual in your office bank death pool, you win!

If he was invisible, he’d sneak into your closet
In shocking celebrity news, former American Idol contestant/elf-looking thing Clay Aiken came out of the closet and revealed that he is in fact gay. This came as a shock virtually no one, but that did not stop the article from making the cover of Obvious Statements Magazine.

You invented fireworks and you’re just getting to space now?
On Thursday (or maybe it was Friday there, who knows?) The Chinese launched their third manned space mission into, well, space. The Long March rocket (named that because the Chinese see the commute to space is seen as a walk of a great distance) lifted the three Chinastronauts into space, where they will attempt the program’s first space walk, which will again, be a long march.

Here’s the damn rum, now go away
It was revealed earlier today that Disney has signed Johnny Depp for a fourth installment of Pirates of the Caribbean. The working title of the new movie is Pirates of the Caribbean: Plunderin’ Yer Wallet.