Hippy logic to invade business sense

You don’t have to listen to too many Bon Jovi songs to know that the man sympathizes with those down on their luck. (Remember? Poor Tommy used to work on the docks, but union’s been on strike…).

Now the singer, already well-known for his philanthropic works through his non-profit Jon Bon Jovi Soul Foundation, plans to open a community restaurant in Red Bank, New Jersey. Soul Kitchen, which is slated to open this spring, isn’t just any restaurant, though. The eatery will serve low-cost or no-cost meals to diners and ask they volunteer at the restaurant in return.

While it’s a nice story, what’s up with Bon Jovi and other celebrities continuing to put New Jersey in such a good light? I mean, it’s New Jersey. Stop trying to help God’s Trash Pit.

Seacrest, ouch

It looks as though as the shark population struggles against the crushing weight of our inevitable victory, the beasts get more and more desperate. They are so desperate now that they are trying to buy us off by going after humans we don’t like.

Recently, Ryan Seacrest said he was the victim of a recent shark attack while he was on vacation. According to the American Idol host, a small shark swam up, bit him and swam off. The attack was so bad, he said, that he needed to take a few Advil that night. Likely he has also undergone counseling.

It is clearly an act of desperation, and The Guys will never bow to such attempts of bribery, especially ones that are not successful. However, if the sharks, and the animal population as a whole, still think we could be swayed, we could live in a world without:

  • Jon Bon Jovi
  • Tia Tequila
  • Celine Dion
  • Carson Daly