Tag: journalists

Bill Clinton: International Man of Intrigue

Former White House cigar-aficionado, Bill Clinton, arrived in Pyongyang, North Korea on Tuesday to negotiate the release of two American journalists with Kim Jong Il.

The two held “an exhaustive conversation,” which–considering it was with Kim–probably included the following:

  • Hot Broadway actresses.
  • What’s Madeline Albright been up to lately; she was so nice and funny.
  • Christian’s champion status in ECW and whether he should get back together with Edge, followed by a six-second pose.
  • Where to get the best grass soup in Pyongyang.

At this rate, the two journalists should be freed once Kim and Clinton finish their massages and previewing the littlest tyrant’s drawings of his “missile program.”

What about one with a fainting disorder?

In his election night speech, President-elect Barack Obama said that he would keep his promise to his daughters that if he won the presidency, he would get them a dog. (And if he lost, sorry girls! Daddy’s only a senator and can’t afford such frills!)

We saw last week how presidential dogs can be a threat to our First Amendment rights. Even so, the press has been in a tizzy about what kind of breed the family will get when it moves into the White House. Here at SG, we hope it’s the type of breed that doesn’t have its own online Christmas special every year, but the people of Peru have a suggestion of their own.

They want the Obamas to adopt their national dog. The dog is from Peru and it is hairless, but still it has the misleading name Peruvian Hairless Dog. The breed was given to Inca kings and is apparently great for kids with allergies, like Malia Obama, 10. The one good thing about it is that it doesn’t have teeth, so journalists would be safe.