This just in: Julianne Moore doesn’t care a lot for Turkey

Stick with us, people. We’ve had a bit of the telephone game getting this information in, but from what we’ve heard via our sources, Turkey is no longer in love with Julianne Moore. Reportedly, the Academy Award-winning actress is rumored to be only a ‘pretend actress.’ Turkey paid her to be in a film, but found her acting to be poor.

Yes, the story is a bit confusing and more than a little unusual, but we’re pretty sure you can take away that Julianne Moore prefers ham or roast beef in her sub sandwiches.

MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Ladies Man’

For what it is, a 90-minute spin-off of a Saturday Night Live sketch, Reggie Hudlin’s film The Ladies Man is not bad. If you have some familiarity with some examples of this benighted genre, like Stuart Saves His Family, It’s Pat, A Night at the Roxbury or Superstar, you will take this evaluation as a giddy rave. The Ladies Man has some funny, dirty-minded jokes, a few amusing cameos (including Julianne Moore in clown makeup) and a soundtrack loaded with juicy cuts of mid-70s vintage soul and funk: a lot of Gamble and Huff, a soupcon of Isley Brothers and a plateful of Parliament’s ”Up for the Down Stroke.” Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘The Ladies Man’