Tag: jupiter

Spoilers: space is full of death

Remember, in space, no one can hear an emo planet cut itself.

A planet ten times the size of Jupiter is orbiting so close to its parent star, that it orbits in less than a single Earth day. It has one million years until one of the tidal plasma bulges its gravity is excreting on its parent star catch up with it, and then … KAPLOOIE!

So, why is this news? Because, technically, the planet is our galactic neighbor.

So, why isn’t this news? Cue on the word “technically.” By that, I mean that the planet is 325 light years away from Earth.

Celestial event? (Frowny-face.)

Just when it seemed like Australia couldn’t get more full of themselves, the skies have to just smile down on them.

Jupiter, Venus and the Moon were aligned just after sunset so that they formed a happy face over the country/continent that gave us Yahoo Serious and Fosters beer. Witnesses also reported hearing the song of angels, but that was just the iconic Sydney Opera House’s choir rubbing it in a little.

Americans will get to see it tonight, one day later. Oh, and because of our position, the moon will be flipped around, frowning at us.

U.S. astronomers suggest just staying indoors at 20 to 30 minutes after sundown, and pretending not to know what Australia’s talking about when they call.