Tag: karate

Take it from Snee: Spank Kata!

They knew we loved it.For at least 10,000 years, people have been punished for sex with children.

Hang on.

People have been punished for having sex with children.

No.

Children are a punishment for sex. There we go. (Unless you have sex with prepubescent children.) And hello to all of our new readers from the FBI!

Children whine, scream and cry; they bite, hit and kick; they interrupt your favorite TV shows, force you to leave movie theaters and open your toys, ruining their in-box value. And despite all of that, you can’t hit them.

So, what is a parent to do when a child is unruly? Have you considered Spank Kata? Continue reading Take it from Snee: Spank Kata!

If there are are any lice still in the room, now would be a good time to let me know

That’s what I thought.

Living in Russia is tough. I mean, the road is always forking you, your currency sounds like the currency in The Legend of Zelda and just around the corner is Chernobyl, the city you’d just love for the rest of the world to forget about it.

And then there’s Moscow. I mean, sure, it’s the largest city in the Russian federation, but that’s like saying you’re king of the landfill. There’s a threat to life everyday for you-grand theft auto, police impersonation, a ridiculously high murder rate, homicide inducing karate experts-

-Wait, what?

Oh yeah. They’re rampant. You can find from hotels to hostels. And they’re neat freaks. Oh MAN, are they EVER neat freaks. If they think for even a second that you, a mild civilian, might pass on lice to you or a loved one, they will kill you in a heartbeat. Yup, no hesitation will be given to the matter.

So what’s the true solution to the problem? It’s not social or financial change for the country. Just teach everyone three simple words: SWEEP. THE. LEG.

Take it from Snee: Scarves are not enough

I’d like to start this week’s TifS by congratulating Michelle Malkin and her fearless campaign to scare Dunkin’ Donuts into dropping an ad because she’s afraid of a scarf. If you’re just tuning in (leave those dials on your monitor alone!), Ms. Malkin was offended by an ad featuring Rachel Ray wearing a keffiyeh, the scarf traditionally worn by Islamofascicommuvikings. She threatened a boycott and Dunkin’ Donuts proved that doing things is what they like to do. (In this case, caving.)

However, I can’t leave it at congratulations. You see, Ms. Malkin just didn’t go far enough to assuage my fears of terror, terrorism, terrorists and terry cloths. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Scarves are not enough