Lance Armstrong has destroyed America. First, he let down the United States Postal Team, breaking the government. Then, he destroyed fans of competitive cycling all over the nation, both of them, by breaking the good name of the sport by taking drugs. Then he destroyed the hearts of kids around the nation by showing them that truly there are no heroes (except us).
And now? Now he’s managed to destroy the DVD industry of England. Or at least the DVD selling industry of one guy in England.
Thanks a lot, Obama.